You did everything right, you followed the advice of your friends and from a few articles online. Your online dating profile sits before you on your laptop or phone, and it is perfect. You did adequate research and got a trustworthy website just as advised, and your picture meets all the requirements. All your best traits are highlighted in your profile, and you feel ready to conquer the online dating world.
But after a couple of dates or potential dates you never met, you feel like the online dating world has conquered you, and you are ready to give up. Hold out a little longer because the tips for the success of online dating I am going to provide below are more than the standard tips you are already familiar with.
- State the Type of Date you would be interested in: first of all, do internal research within yourself and be sure of the kind of attributes you are looking for in a date. Secondly, your profile should convey your interest and have a positive and definite statement regarding the type of date you are interested in. This would help you weed out people that are opposed to your goals or prevent people that are in direct contradiction of the kind of date you want from texting you in the first place. Although it is important also to avoid being too rigid with the types of date you want, having a general knowledge of what you are searching for will help you save a significant amount of time and energy.
- Read Between the Lines: A person’s profile says so much, even if it wasn’t the intention by the owner. So read in between the line. Evaluate the tone of the profile, and maybe you can get a sense of what the person is like. You might learn if the person is a fun, pleasant, kind person, or the type of person you would be quickly drawn to. It is also vital to search for any negative attributes like boastfulness. Doing this does not necessarily mean you can pick out the perfect date, but it is a start.
- Flee the comfortability of online texting and meet physically: comfort is the enemy of progress. Don’t get too comfortable with just the exchange of flirtatious texts, and make a plan to link up. Push away any fear or nervousness that may prevent you from meeting the person with the knowledge that your date might be as nervous as you are. Fix an appointment, sit across from each other, and have an honest conversation. With this action, you can take the relationship to the next step.
- Meet in public and on neutral territory: this is an important tip that should always guide you when venturing into the online dating world. Not only because you need to be in public or a familiar environment for safety but because you need a well-rehearsed escape routine. Yes, you read that right; the importance of an escape strategy cannot be overemphasized. When stuck in a horrible date, with no way out or instead of coming up with a farfetched or an unbelievable lie, you can bask in the fact that you have a pre-arranged plan. Pass on your believable lie to your date, stand up, and walk away from such an unpleasant encounter.
- Read verbal and non-verbal cues Unconsciously, a person’s actual intention slips out through their words or actions, so pay attention. Read verbal and non-verbal cues. What kind of relationship does he want? Ask him and listen attentively to his answer. If his answers align with yours, great, go on and enjoy your date. If it, however, doesn’t, explain to the date maturely that you are looking for something else and waste no further time in something that cannot yield any result.
- Patience, the right man, might not be the first: Don’t expect too much from a first date. It may take as many dates to find someone with similar interests. You should try to know the person sitting across you by learning his likes and dislikes.
Also, there is a need to be patient and open-minded. Remember you can afford to be selective. That is the best part of online dating, and it is a large pool of varieties of options for you to choose from.
- Ditch the three days’ rules: if you enjoyed the date and you wish to see the person again, there is a simple solution, call them and say so. Dismiss the notion in your head that tells you to wait for three days. Instead, convey your feeling to your date; they might feel the same way. It’s ok if they don’t, at least you would be made aware of the situation and you can move forward instead of wasting your time.
- Be yourself: Be honest from the beginning, this might seem like a cheesy tip, but most time people forget to be real. They transform themselves into this person in other to meet the requirements of their dates and end up losing themselves and their time. Show them the real you, and if they don’t like it is ok if they walk away. When they do, the closer you become in meeting the right person.
- Keep your baggage out of the way: you don’t want to scare your date away, so keep the conversation light and comfortable. Take it step by step, build the friendship on the foundation of a casual conversation, by dishing out your primary and straightforward traits or history. Get to know the person before you first; this is not the time to air all your proverbial laundry.
- Listen: the purpose of the date is to get to know each other, and that can’t be done when only one person is speaking. It is easy to get carried away when telling a story that you forget you have been the only one speaking for a long time. Leave the floor also open for your date to talk. Ask questions and try to be genuinely interested in what the person has to say. Trust me your date would know if you are faking an interest.